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The Office - Wine Personalities

If you're like me, it's a devastating realization that The Office (USA) is no longer available on Netflix. It was my go-to for a laugh and to unwind after a long night running around the floor grabbing bottles, popping corks, and talking up guests about an exciting wine I had just brought onto the menu (sigh...those were the [pre-covid] days...).

So, in honor of one of my all time favorite shows, I've put together a list of wines that I think reflect the personalities of the main characters of the show.

Michael Scott: The leader of the show (and Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin). What is there to say about Michael? He wanted everyone to like him and tried too hard most....all of the time. Yet, his heart was always in the right place.

Wine: Torrontés. Why? Because this extremely floral wine can, at times, be quite overwhelming in aroma and on the palate. But, if you're prepared for what's to come and the wine is made well, despite your initial shiver from the intense perfumed aroma, you keep going back for sips and can begin to appreciate the flavor.

Jim Halpert: Oh, Jim. What woman (or man, for that matter) isn't looking for a Jim in their life? Fun-loving, kind, and all around good guy. Not too bad on the eyes, either (especially after Karen forced him to get a haircut for the interview...the only good thing that came from her being in the show).

Wine: Beaujolais Gamay. Why? It's the all around go-to wine when you're not sure what to grab for a party, a casual hang, or in need of something to pair with whatever you've cooked up with the random ingredients found in the fridge. It's a crowd pleaser - unassuming, not overwhelming, and goes well with pretty much anything.

Pam Beesley Halpert: Sweet, kind-hearted, artistic, and answered phones like nobody's business. Though she lacked a backbone for a few seasons, she finally got around to speaking her mind and leaving Roy (thank goodness!). She and Jim are couple goals.

Wine: California Chardonnay. Why? It's a classic white wine that, whether people love it or hate it, they know of it. And, similarly to Pam's character development, CA Chardonnay has come a long way since it's notorious "oaky, buttery, vanilla bomb" flavor reputation a few decades ago.

Dwight K. Schrute: Stubborn, annoying, self-assured, and no filter, Dwight is the man for the job and will rule with an iron fist. Loyal to a fault, he'll go behind your back only once and then graciously accept doing your laundry for a year as pay back. What a guy.

Wine: Burgundy Pinot Noir. Why? *aged* Burgundy wine because it has loads of earthy, leafy, tertiary aromas and flavors that Dwight would likely adore since the flavors would mimic the earthy notes of his fresh beetroots. And, like his character developed and somewhat softened over time, a Burgundy Pinot Noir will be more up-front and boisterous in its young age and then mellow out but still maintain its complexity.

Angela Martin: The tightly wound religious woman with strict convictions and no sense of humor. Obviously, the best partner for her was Dwight. And, did anyone else binge the show recently and notice when she put on a mask after Erin sneezed? She was ahead of the Covid game long before we knew the plague was coming.

Wine: Biodynamic wine. Why? As a woman who has such strong convictions and closely bases her life on the teachings of the Bible (her version of them, of course), a Bio wine that is made with strict regulations and minimal human intervention seems like a go-to for Angela.

Phyllis Lapin-Vance: Oh, Phyllis. What a gem. Although she looked "kinda matronly" she had her moments showing her feisty personality underneath her nonchalant exterior.

Wine: Barefoot wine. Why? If you recall, Phyllis was the one to use a butter knife to pry off a jeraboam bottle of wine at a restaurant (during her lunch hour). So, yeah. A high volume, low priced giant bottle of wine would be her cuppa tea.

Stanley Hudson: The grump who sat across from Phyllis, known for his affair to Cynthia, playboy antics whilst in Florida, and sassing off to Michael that one time. The only day at work he's happy is Pretzel Day.

Wine: A house cab. Why? Stanley is a no-fuss kinda guy and a House Cabernet Sauvignon is a no-fuss kinda wine. The restaurant staff will probably be pleased they're finally able to use up that lingering bottle of red wine leftover from a banquet the night before.

Meredith Palmer: The party gal with no qualms about ANYTHING.

Wine: Franzia. Why? If you know, you know.

Oscar Nunez: Known around the office as "Actually", Oscar likes to stick it to ya with his depth of knowledge on currant affairs and finer things.

Wine: Premium Spanish wine (i.e., Vina Tondonia). Why? This wine is known for its high end reputation and beautiful flavor complexities. Yet, as many Spanish reds are matured in American oak, it can take on a very powerful approach in the glass. This wine would likely be the "Actually" at a dinner party. Lots of finesse but a bit snappy, too.

Kevin Malone: Good ol' Kevin. Not so good with the numbers, despite being an accountant, but he's a teddy bear with a heart of gold...which makes up for his lack of smarts. Except for that one time when he and the other "backups" won the Trivia contest.

Wine: Sonoma Coast Pinot Noir. Why? One of these wines from an older, warm vintage (2013, 2015) shows beautiful aromas bursting with ripe fruits and a very full body. It seems a bit understated since it's Pinot Noir, but the intense flavor could surprise you.

Kelly Kapoor: The hottest girl and celebrity in her own mind, Kelly is full of advice, tips on smack talk vs trash talk, and will forever be dedicated to Ryan Howard (for reasons no one will ever figure out).

Wine: Cristal. Why? It's known among the bubbly of choice among celebrities. And, while it actually does taste very nice, it's worth the hype.

Ryan Howard: Started as a Temp, rose to the youngest VP at Dunder Mifflin, and then defrauded the company (though I must agree with Oscar that "the real crime was the beard"). He maintains an on-again-off-again relationship with Kelly (for reasons no one will ever figure out).

Wine: A fake wine. Why? Ryan seems like the type of guy who would buy into the world of fake wines by some smooth-talker to sells him something for an astronomical amount only to learn later that it's a mixture of chemicals and animal excrement to fake the "earthy" aromas.

Which "The Office" character was your favorite and why? Do you have other ideas/opinions about their wine personalities?


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